Birthday is a harbor for looking back and forward. Never thought I would make 45! Right now everything is a blur into vast ocean of light. Soul is not located here as matter home only. It is situated in a larger birthing point. Accurate pinpoint of space is too fluid to anchor into. About my future I have no knowing. For now I am vastly expanded into many dimensions. Xray vision I have to see energy translation is not operative.
Heart is my only compass that is solid. Very big lesson here for me. Vastness cancels out emotions I not want to feel. My greater embodiment has amplified my emotional sensitivity. I get hit so much stronger by anything that is a heart issue. Sadly, I grab for quick-fix coping mechanisms to silence the emotional flood. I may bite my hand without hurting it to shift my attention. This physical sensation is much easier for me to feel than a blast of lasting emotion. Or I grit my teeth to create pressure and tension in another direction that is easier to feel.
What have I been so afraid to feel lately? It is the light charge of our new book that feels too big to hold. Seeing my face and name on the cover design is a giant pop to my eyes and soul. Yet today I bravely choose to feel my emotions more deeply. Why? Without emotions, I cannot power up my heart, the harbor of my Divine Feminine abilities. Here is where I will gain my leadership role needed to birth the book into the world.
Now I understand that my recent expanded state has given me a time-out to stabilize and then come back in to see what soul work is waiting for me. The only way to change a poor pattern is to be lifted out of our normal life where this pattern is so locked in. Then we can see what’s true more clearly and consider new ways to be.
Maybe that’s the gift waiting for all of us in today’s world?